I’m sitting here thinking, Oooh Lord! Am I really doing this? Well, every motivational book I have read and every video I’ve watched says “Step out of your comfort zone” or “The first step towards your dream is a step in the right direction” not forgetting, “Start and fail, but start anyway.” So…here I am.
So, who am I? I am half Kikuyu and half Kalenjin (half cast or point five if you like hahaha). I have a taste of both the loaded and the broke life. I was raised by a single parent, my mother. I have 3 older siblings who are all Kikuyu by the way..(yes, I told you my life is completely worth hearing about) meaning, I am the only Kale in my family. I am a marketer by profession. I have no hobbies I can honestly brag about like art, cooking or singing. I can draw stick figures, whip up some scrambled eggs and sing in the shower. Hope I find a husband who accept that hahaha.
For starters, I will tell you of a story that I know most of you have not experienced. Well, 4years ago, during a long weekend, my brother came up with a brilliant idea to go support his friend who had opened up a bar at Eastleigh (Isili). The guy had some nyama choma for us and we were pretty hang over from the previous night. So, we went there and had a pretty good time. We later decided to go to a place closer to home. One of the guys there offered to give us a ride to our destination. We got to the car and it couldn’t start! I was so irritated so I sat on a pavement and watched the guys try to jump start the car.
I figured they had taken up so much time (rather the liquor in me made me think it took hours)…so I thought, if I helped them push, the car would start! I walk right up to the middle and start pushing with them and in a split second, I disappeared! Looking around me, I was underground, in a manhole. Really, really deep one for that matter! I screamed at the top of my voice for help. I looked around me in the tunnels and saw rats running around me (I hate creepy crawlies-cringe) and human waste! I kept praying amidst tears that no one flashes a toilet or no wave of water comes flowing and sweeps me away!
The taxi men and watchmen gathered and grabbed each other by the feet forming a chain to rescue me. They finally got to me and pulled me out. I was received with a quarter bottle of vodka to help with the trauma and the seriously sprained ankle. Then I had to sit through stories of how “I was there, then I wasn’t!” Literally pulling off the disappearing act, hahaha! I thank God for no rain, the PARTIALLY DRY HUMAN WASTE and the busy Eastleigh night life that day. I only lost a shoe! Hope that condom shoe goes to shoe paradise. It served me though! Tafadhali serikali, zibeni hizo man hole! Lesson: Watch out for man holes in Eastleigh!